Well I’m back and ready to do this. I never wrote a race report for the Squamish 50Miler because I was so overwhelmed with emotions when I finished. So here’s a quick recap of how my race went last year and why I’m signing up for 2015!
This August I ran my first 50 miler and it was awesome. The month leading up to the race was full of anxiety. I was riding the roller-coaster of emotions on if I was ready, was I going to finish, were all my ailments going to be healed, did I really want to run 50 MILES and how long is 50 miles really?! Anytime my training and racing was brought up in conversation and I saw people’s jaw drop and say, “you’re running how far?!” I realized why I was running this race it was to prove to myself how strong I was, not just physically but mentally. Athletically I know I’m not the fastest runner out there but I am strong. Mentally I can be strong but there are moments I waiver and doubt my abilities. This was one of the first times I was truly running to prove to myself how strong I was. Once I realized this I continuously visualized myself finishing the race and I would tear up every time.
Toeing the start line I was a bundle of nerves excited and anxious for what the race had in store for me. I had my head lamp on and my ultra vest on and I was ready for anything I felt strong. The gun goes off and my jitters disappear the strength in my legs takes over and I know that this race is going to be one for the books. With the race having 7 aid stations staying focused on small portions of the race at a time felt very achievable.
Coming into the first aid station was quick and easy. I was on schedule, my sister topped up my vest and I was back on my way. After the first aid station racers were sent right into the trails and a bit of the climbing began. During this part of the race I was amazed by the kindness and encouragement of all the racers as we chatted while climbing. Coming in to the second aid station I was already tearing up with my bottom lip quivering (trying to pull it together so that my pregger sister/crew chief wouldn’t also start crying) was the best feeling because at this moment I knew that I was going to finish! From this aid station to the 5th aid station was a blur of moderate pain, of course more climbing and smiles. Coming into the 5th aid station I knew I had some gnarly blisters and was getting pretty hungry. Luckily my sister brought me some chicken nuggets and the volunteers were able to patch me up and send me on my way. Up until this point I was on track to achieve my goal of 12:30hrs. But I had no idea what the back half of the race had in store for me. Let me tell you it was an eye opener! I got my butt handed to me on the 30km and did not see it coming. It was the hardest 30km I have ever ran. I toughed this section out but mentally was struggling to stay motivated to finish. Coming into the last aid station my sister knew I was wiped, I just didn’t have any juice left in my legs. I was also pretty disappointed in myself because I was now not going to be able achieve my time goal. Luckily, I had my sister by my side to say “stop doddling and see you at the finish line.” She certainly has a way with words that one.
Well with 70km under my feet I knew I could steadily crush out the next 12km. This last 12km was painfully slow and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get my feet moving. But sure enough those Km’s started counting down and I was getting closer and closer to the finish line. I had 1km left, then 500m, then 100m, then the finish line and then the tears.
What a feeling when you cross the finish line! The pride, the pain and everything in between. My most vivid memory of the finish line is hugging Gary Robbins and sobbing into his shoulder continuously blubbering, ” that was just so hard.”
Next year my goal is to run a sub 12:00 50miler.
Shout out to all the volunteers at each aid station who were amazing and Gary Robbins for the hug. What an amazing experience. See you in 2015!
Stay tuned for my trials as I continue to train for this crazy endeavor.
Wow what a whirlwind the past 5 months have been! I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything since the hypothermic half. Well let me catch you up to speed on what I’ve been doing: I completed the busiest semester of my post secondary education, I graduated from the U of Alberta with two degrees (B. Ed/B. PEd), and I was MOH of my sisters wedding. I feel like the past few months have just been one big party. It’s been quite the few months that’s for sure, it’s amazing celebrating all of these milestones. In a sense I feel like its been one big coming of age story and let me tell you being an adult in the real world is not what it’s cracked up to be!
Lately, I have been feeling uninspired and underwhelmed about running and training. The biggest battle I have been dealing with is getting a run in. I have pulled out every excuse not to go for a run. I feel like I’m starting to let myself down. If I don’t train hard then I don’t have to have such high expectations for MYM 50. It’s generally what I do when I commit to something. If I have low expectations then if it doesn’t work out I can say it just wasn’t meant to be. Failing is the worst feeling. There is nothing more devastating than putting all your effort into something and still coming up short handed.
Needless to say I need to GET GOING! I found the problem to be that it was putting my runs on the back burner while I dealt with all of life’s little challenges. My plan of action is to put running as my first priority. This will involve me taking care of myself and making sure I balance my life. As much I want running to be my first priority I need to make sure I have a proper recovery and stay injury free.
Well here’s to running! I promise to have better posts once I start adventuring. Time to put on my running shoes and get going! Happy trails.
Last Sunday I had my first race of the season and participated in my first hypothermic half! Usually I dread any race I participate in and set pretty low expectations that way I don’t bum myself out if I don’t achieve the goal I have set. But this race was different. The night before I was jittery before bed and had tingles in my toes because I knew something good was going to happen.
Race day came and it was a typical February morning in Edmonton. It was about -10 Celsius and a tad bit windy but all things considering it could have been way colder so I was thankful for the tame winter morning.
The week prior to the race I had taken off because I was dealing with shin splints (definitely not desirable for a runner or anyone for that matter). So when I was standing at the starting line I did wonder if I had done enough to prepare for the race. But then I realized that it was better to listen to my body and rest it properly than push myself and injure myself. After realizing I had done all I could to prepare myself for this race I was pretty sure I felt strong enough to beat my personal best (2:02).
Starting off the race I felt strong and didn’t get carried away with the first km jitters. I paced myself appropriately to beat my PB. In kilometre 3 I was so proud of myself I started tearing up and had no idea where they came from (the perks of being an emotional girl who can cry from a Canadian tire commercial). I was feeling great from the beginning to about kilometre 7. After kilometre 7 I had to run on some pretty soft snow that felt like quicksand, the more effort I put into moving fast the slower I went. This part of the course dampened my spirits because I was getting frustrated, I just wanted to go faster but the snow wasn’t letting me. The downside to this race was that it was a two lap course and was extremely flat compared to the races I normally compete in. So it was a bit of a mind bender knowing I had to go through the soft snow again.
At the half way point I decided to try putting back a gel. I’m trying to play around with foods and things that work well for me so come MYM 50M I know what works for me and won’t have any doubts with what to fuel my body with. Needless to say gels are definitely not my thing and will need to explore alternatives. They are far too gooey and sticky for me, I felt like a cat eating peanut butter. Perhaps I will try a different flavour.
The second lap seemed to fly by and I was still on pace to beat my PB but it would be tight. Somewhere between kilometre 16 and 17 my shins decided to cause me grief right in the middle of the soft snow portion. My pace slowed drastically and my goal to beat my PB had been lost as I had to walk off the shins for a minute. It was frustrating to know that had I not walked I would have been close to beating it. As I finished the race “sprinting” in and finished at 2:05:30.
I didn’t beat my personal best but for the first time in a long time I was proud of my time and knew that I pushed hard to get where I was considering last year my half marathon time in June was 2:16. I was proud of the improvement but still know that I have a ways to go to get to where I want to be before MYM.
I was driving to go play squash the other day and was overwhelmed with nervousness. Generally, I get a tinge of the butterflies before I go play and the same goes for running, followed by a quick trip to the girls room but thats it. But this time I was so nervous I couldn’t handle myself.
I have a strong background playing in elite level volleyball games, but in squash and running I have no one to fall back on but myself. For the past 12 years I had played a team sport where I had a coach and teammates to tell me where to go, what to do, and how to do it. It involved order, structure, and mindless actions. It was just so easy, I just went through the motions. But then I realized I was tired of all the monotony and just worn down in general. At the end of my volleyball career I realized I wanted to be able to do things for me and when I wanted to do them. There are so many other activities and competitions out there that I needed to involve myself in.
My one problem however was whatever I was going to do it had to be bigger and better from before. I think I decided this just to keep me goal oriented, if there was one thing I learned from volleyball it was that I needed to have goals and some structure to keep me from falling off the track.
Realizing all the pressure is on you is the best most terrifying feeling in the world. Now, its me who is in charge of making sure I get enough training and kilometers in, making sure I’m resting enough, and I’m eating properly. Some days the laziness overcomes me and I just tell myself I’ll run an extra few km tomorrow. So I leave my run till the next day and I get so mad and frustrated at myself the next day I’ll have a pretty awful run. If I keep putting off my runs how am I going to run a 50 miler?!
The nervousness also stemmed from me believing that if I am participating in solo sports that I have no other supporters than myself. But thats a lie. I have my fam jam, boyfriend, and friends to encourage/force me to go for a run that day. As a runner you are not the only one out there even when you are out on a run by yourself. There are so many different factors that have got you to that point and that will allow you to finish your run such as the runners you will pass that give you a brief smile and encourage you to keep going, the support crew that will change your socks and give you a hug before the next leg, or the volunteers that set up the course to direct you where to go.
You are your own coach because you got yourself to where you are today, and are the only who will get you passed the finish line. So take care of the little things today before they become big things and appreciate those who support you in your adventures.
A couple of weeks ago the impossible happened. I had the perfect run. I don’t know about all runners but I rarely come off a run and say, “YES, THAT WAS AWESOME!”. Generally coming off a run feeling frustrated, or exhausted. I just accept it that not all runs are going to be awesome, some can be really good but rarely awesome. But when I finished that run I knew I had given it all my body could give. I had a 6:20 pace for 10km. Which is definitely not speedy by any means, but it was the fastest I had ran a 10km since before my ankle surgery (8 months ago) and it was the most consistent run I think I’ve ever ran. I was able to hold that pace and stick with it wavering +/- a few seconds. It was awesome.
I certainly don’t know the recipe for an overall awesome run but I have to say the most important ingredient is positive self talk. During the death race I was so negative about the experience, I hated myself for that as I’m a very happy and optimistic person. I vowed to myself never to focus on the negative and use positive thoughts to fuel my running.
It made me realize how many factors impact your overall run:
how many of us have jumped the gun after eating and not waited for the meal to set and you get those awful cramps, or you drank too much water and all you here is swish swish swish and you feel like you are going to float away, or you didn’t drink enough and feel like you’re in the Sahara desert, or you haven’t ran in a while and push a pace that is just to fast for you to keep up with, maybe you had a bad day at work and are dreading your run, perhaps it’s that you have negative self talk and there is no way you are going to make it up that giant hill
Well I think we’ve all been there!
There are so many things that work against you that it seems impossible you are going to finish that run successfully.
A fousin (fake cousin) asked me if running and training get easier (as she’s three weeks into training for a half marathon) and I told her that training doesn’t get easier because your body gets stronger and your expectations of yourself keep getting higher.
To keep positive it’s about embracing the downhills, digging into uphills and knowing you’re capable to achieve more than what you have expected yourself to.
Every New Years pessimists become optimists and those resilient to change attempt to be open to change. Those excited for 2013 have definitely let you know through Facebook or Twitter. I will admit I am one of them. But here’s the difference I feel that those who are most excited for 2013 are those that are willing to forget about the negative experiences or hard times they went through. Out with the old, and in with the new. Well I’ve been pondering why everyone is so excited to begin their new year and attempt to successfully achieve their new years resolution. I think its because people are hoping to forget the negative experiences and mistakes they made last year and looking forward to a blank slate. But do you really start with a blank slate? It’s not like those around you instantly forget who are. So how are you supposed to remake yourself?
I don’t think you can just forget and move on at the stroke of midnight. I think you have to embrace the challenges that you faced from the past year in order to successfully be a better person in the year ahead. Being able to reflect on the challenges allows one to see how they overcome difficult situations. By just forgetting about the past, you put yourself in a place to make the same mistakes you did last year. Its about realizing that those challenges made you a stronger person and you are better because of them.
February marked the passing of my Nana, my last grandparent. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her or reflect on how she has impacted my life. It took all my energy to carry on going to class and make everything seem normal. But what I took from this was to continue on the lessons Nana taught me. My Grandad passed away 17 years ago and my Nana continued on when she could have easily given up. So with that I knew for Nana’s sake I had to handle each day with strength and poise, just like she did. I carry Nana’s thought with me everyday to be as a strong as she was.
As I was studying for my last few finals, my ankle jammed and I ended up hopping across the pedway to ER while my boy ended up scrambling to find a wheelchair for me. It was rather difficult explaining to the ER nurses that I was just studying when I ended up in the ER room unable to move my ankle. While trying to convince the ER doc’s that I just needed to be sedated and they could fix my ankle by just popping it into place. Well turns out I’m not an ER doc so I had to have emergency surgery setting me back a month and a half in death race training. This surgery pushed me to become stronger as a runner. I had to get myself ready to run 50km in 3 1/2 months. I knew I was going to be able to complete the race I just didn’t know how I was going to get to the finish line.
Race day came and well you can check out the ridiculous race here. Well what coming down off this race I was so disappointed in myself for letting my self get so dehydrated and not finishing in the time I had set for myself. That I didn’t even appreciate the fact that I had completed a 50Km race. The farthest I have ever run. This race is why I am doing MYM in September. I want to prove to myself that with every challenge I make myself stronger.
Well these are the top three reasons why I am excited for new challenges and experiences in 2013. But I wouldn’t be as excited for the new year had I not overcome this past year. I am thankful for 2012 and can’t wait for 2013. I hope everyone reflects on the past year and doesn’t forget the challenges that they have overcome to get to where they are today.
And of course 2012 was the year I started blogging. Thank you to those who continue to pop by and spread the love.
Happy New Year! Good luck with the challenges that 2013 brings!
Lately, I’ve been digging up pictures from my childhood and it was obvious in every picture that I am pretty awesome. No matter what the situation whether I was supposed to be in the picture or not, the picture ended up being about me. I know this sounds rather self-centered but growing up I had a strong sense of self. I knew how to make people laugh, smile or gasp. My Nana called me her little ray of sunshine. It wasn’t necessarily that I wanted all the attention on me. I just wanted a reaction out of somebody, positive or negative. Even if I knew I shouldn’t have done it, I did it anyways, and I didn’t really care what the consequence was. I guess you could say I pushed limits and my mom’s buttons often. Such as sticking my tongue to metal in -30 degree Celsius weather, throwing my underwear in the garbage at recess while wearing a dress, continuously dumping mom’s contacts down the sink, breaking my arm because I thought I was peter pan, well the list goes on but I think you get the point. I was quite the child. I was constantly curious about if I did “A” what would “B” be.
A prime example of how awesome I am.
And what can I say I have my parents and sister to thank. I am thankful that my parents allowed me to explore, imagine and become my own awesome self (and by awesome self I mean a young kid who ran around naked). However there were limits to exploring and imagining, if I did something outside my mom’s boundaries I was in BIG trouble (Such as don’t take your clothes off in public). Even with the boundaries set I was still pretty hard to manage and a free spirited kid (after all at the age of two I was granted the nickname psychobaby, which I’m pretty proud of). I thank my sister for hating me for the first 12 years of my life. (It’s odd to be thankful for I know) But you see I took away my sisters only childness away from her, resulting in a large amount of resentment, so I understand where she is coming from (but still slightly confused I know I took away being an only child but she got me out of the deal, I didn’t think that was so bad). I appreciate this part because all I wanted to do was prove myself to her and show her all the cool things about me, by doing this I learned what I was truly capable of. But she wanted nothing to do with me. I just wanted to be her friend, and by her friend I mean I wanted to be just like her. She was my ultimate role model. Everything from the way my parents allowed me to express myself to me wanting to be as successful as my sister, has shaped me into the person I am today. It ultimately comes down to the fact that I didn’t care what anyone else thought I was going to do it anyways.
Oh my bad, you’re reading this thinking, “Lisa, how does this relate to running?” Well hold on to your compression shorts. The experiences my family provided for me allowed me to try new things and push myself to limits, it didn’t matter what the outcome because at the end of the experience my family was there to catch me if I fell.
To me running is about being liberated from any expectations and being awesome, the exact things my parents allowed me to be. It’s about going for a run and learning a little more about yourself whether it’s how mentally tough you are or what your body’s limit is. Often times if you see me running I am giggling to myself (a mix of a runners high and how easily distractable I am), I know it may look odd but I am having a good time and whats the point of keep the goodness bottled up inside. Running is the awesome adventure I give myself. And the best part is that every run is different, even if I’ve ran the same route numerous times. It’s because I expect something different for myself each time. I am awesome because I was able to put aside the chaos and insanity of my day and go for a run no matter how long, far or difficult. I did that, I made the decision to free myself and eliminate the daily restrictions. I did all of this. And all of this is awesome.